A Petite Fashion Blog.

Wednesday, 10 May 2017

Privacy on social media.

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Privacy on Social Media - My relationship isn't a secret, it's private.

The other day, well yesterday, someone asked me why I don't post photos of my boyfriend on Instagram. But before I will answer this question let's go a little bit more in depth about privacy on social media.

It's said that social media has the power to destroy relationships - whether or not those relationships were working is another story, but there is still something about the statement that I have to agree with. Privacy and secrecy are two different things, only that since the boom in social media some seem to have forgotten about that. One of my friends actually said to me before: "My new boyfriend doesn't want to post our recent selfie on Facebook, he's clearly cheating'. Since when is wanting to be private an indication of being a cheater? Just because someone doesn't want to plaster their partners face all over their social media doesn't make them unfaithful or less committed.  Funny enough, my other friend got cheated on by his partner and she was the one posting soppy stuff nearly daily on Facebook - a little food for thought there. This post isn't at all about cheating, but I just wanted to bring the point across that just because someone doesn't want to post about their partner on social media it shouldn't be considered a 'red flag'. 

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Posting a photo on social media of your partner doesn't validate anything, nor does it mean you are more in love or more proud of your partner than those that don't. In a stable relationship, something as simple as posting a photo on social media won't do anything. It weighs nothing in comparison to cooking for them, giving them a massage after a long day or ironing their shirts. There are more important factors that make a relationship work than something as silly as posting photos of them on social media.

Some people just don't want their personal life on social media. 

Yes, I post photos of my current outfits or what I've eaten today, so some assume I should post a photo of my boyfriend. But real life doesn't work like that. Often posting about your relationship is a form of validity and to feed insecurities, as researched by an expert:

“Often it’s the people who post the most who are seeking validation for their relationship from other people on social media. The likes and comments can be so validating that when someone is really struggling, that’s where they get their up from – not the person making the gesture, but what other people say about it.”

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Broadcasting your relationship doesn't make you a happier couple nor does it mean I'm less invested in my relationship because I don't do it.


"Keep it off of social media, this is the advice I give people. Twice in my life, people have told me that and it stuck with me. One girlfriend told me once, “why do you need everyone online to know? Everyone who matters knows.” I was a young college kid, it was dumb to me. As I grew up I noticed how many times I asked my partners to place their stuff online because it was validation for me. Like “look at me I’m in a relationship with a pretty chick.” One of my ex’s mother told me something similar later on in life, “take your time, keep people out of your business, establish the relationship first.” I thought it was nonsense until I faced the breakup. Social media already complicated things, it’s best if we keep it out. You want the world to know you’re with someone, great. Wouldn’t it be better if it was someone who really loves you and the relationship has longevity not just a hype up thing? Some men are posting about their women because their women won’t stop nagging about it. Some women are posting their men because they need it to show that they’re picture perfect. Some of both are doing it because relationships make them feel whole and showing off their relationship is an accomplishment to them. In some relationships, it even creates false competition, where people are complaining about their partner not posting about them enough or as much as the next person does. Get your relationship off of the internet and work on it. A good relationship already has enough to face, don’t add more to it. Some people just like private lives, just because they aren’t exposing their heart to the public doesn’t mean they are hiding it."


This is my brand, my career and some things are private, intimate and don't need to be publicised all over social media and my relationship is one of them.

I would love to know your thoughts on this topic; please comment below or tweet me xoxo






A massive thank you to the amazing Justine for taking these stunning photos xoxo 

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8 comments

  1. Love this post! I totally relate to it. I don't really post anything of my husband on my social media because I don't feel like that's the private part of my life and it's a nice escape! My puppy gets a lot of coverage though!! :D Robyn x

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    1. Yes I agree, he quietly supports me but that doesn't mean I'm gonna put it all over social media! Like you said it's a nice escape and a relationship is something so intimate I rather keep that to him and me :) - glad you like the post!

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  2. My husband didn't appear much on my social or my blog (we have since split). I don't think I would be fussed either way in a new relationship.

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    1. There are much more important things in a relationship than who posts what on social media, shame that some people don't understand it and see it as some sort of a 'competition'!

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  3. I tend to feel like if people feel the need to make a big show of how happy they are in public, then it's probably way, way more complicated behind the scenes. When social media was pretty new, then it was a bit more fun to show off your life, but these days I think people are retreating from that and valuing their privacy much more.

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    1. Yes I fully agree - your comment nailed it! :)

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  4. Agreed! I love psychology and came across the study you referred to a short while back.

    "My new boyfriend doesn't want to post our recent selfie on Facebook, he's clearly cheating". I never think it's a good idea to plaster pics of new partner around social media just in case it doesn't last. Every the optimist over here :D

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  5. When it comes to my social media, I'm the same way--I'll share what I'm eating, drinking and wearing, but I prefer to keep my relationship with my boyfriend, as well as my friends and family, private. I will occasionally share personal photos, but only if I have approval of other people pictured

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