A Petite Fashion Blog.

Monday, 21 August 2017

Rude or just direct?

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Rude or just direct? - I'm not rude, just up front

I recently read an article on the '10 rudest country' and surprise, surprise Germany came fourth and the UK third. Funny considering that at least once a week a British person calls me rude for speaking the truth; don't ask me what I think of your new skirt if you are not prepared to take an 'I don't like it'.   I'm a very honest and direct person, a trait very common for German nationals. Telling you that I don't like your outfit is not rude, it's honest, so why call me rude for answering your question truthfully? I'm not writing this after one person called me rude for saying I don't like her skirt; I'm writing this because there is that misconception of rude Germans and because people tell me that I shouldn't be 'so rude' on a regular basis. Every culture has rude people, every culture is different but calling me rude for not sugar coating everything doesn't make me a bad or impolite person. 


Shop my favourite polka dot dresses: 




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The difference between rude and direct

I've been in the UK for 6 years now and yet I still have to explain myself. People asking me to change my ways. Funny story actually, I knew this girl at Uni who was as sensitive as a basket of kittens and asked me to change my directness. Ehm, excuse me? Why should I change myself if you could simply do the same? I get that not everyone will get along and we can't all be friends, but people telling me that I'm rude is just plain rude? 

Being direct and assertive involves being honest and genuine while remaining appropriate, diplomatic and respectful of yourself and others. It is not passive (being a doormat or a wimp), passive-aggressive (indirect communication, like not returning calls or emails hoping somebody gets the hint) or aggressive (being hostile and rude.)

Personally, being direct requires a fair amount of confidence and courage; the courage to be real.

The difference between rude and direct is very simple actually. Rude definition: discourteous or impolite, especially in a deliberate way. Whereas direct defined means: straightforward; frank; candid, without intervening influences, factors or filters. Why beat around the bush if you could simply say what you are thinking? Why lie to your friends because you might upset them?

Why I think it's important to be direct:
- it's honest, authentic and truthful
- respect for others by being truthful
- saves time, energy and in certain situations money too
- you make yourself more vulnerable by being direct, but it's also more intimate 

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Free Yourself by being direct - The Rude German

I think we can all agree that this will never stop and 10 years later people will still call me the 'rude German'. However, for this blog post, I had a little look on Google and stumbled upon a post called "How to tell when Germans are really being rude versus just being German". A bit of an offensive title in a way but anyway; some of the comments on that post are actually disgusting. The post mainly discusses different cultures and how people are not open to accepting that Germany is a direct culture whereas England is all about pleasing others and then stamp everyone as rude which is clearly an overreaction.


Read some of my, let's call it, favourite comments:


'Nevertheless Germans seem to have a very hard time interacting with people from other cultures either in Germany or abroad and seem to have a very disturbed notion of their rights and obligations when dealing with other people.' - and apparently I'm rude ...
'I was brainwashed by Germans on how bad French people are before moving there' - Ehm, what? You can only laugh about this one


'I guess European think that smiling means that you are being unsincere…so, being serious and cold means that you are a sincere person? C’mon!' - this is a good one, apparently Germans think by smiling when saying something rude it makes it okay, alright then

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Outfit Details

Dress: Missguided
Cardigan: Primark
Mules: Dorothy Perkins - similar Marks and Spencers
Bag: Love Moschino


A massive thank you to my favourite Instagram buddy, Victoria for taking these stunning photos xoxo 





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11 comments

  1. you are so right!
    I'm all about being honest too <3
    xoxo,
    Victoria
    http://vickyweek.com/index.php/en/

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    1. So glad you agree - thank you for commenting :)

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  2. YASSS love this post. I also get called rude ����‍♀️ How can you be rude if you're telling the truth? I mean I would much rather someone tell me they didn't think I looked good in something rather than being fake and saying it looks great... good work gal xxx

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    1. Glad you like it! THANK YOU, I don't get it either! xoxo

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  3. It's most definitely better to be direct, love the outfit, I need them shoes!

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  4. I get where you're coming from! It's a culture thing for sure. I've been living here for 7, coming up to 8 years and I still think Europeans are incredibly nice compared to where I'm from!

    Oliver x http://suedeandsymphony.com

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  5. I think there is definitely a difference between being rude and honest/direct. I would much rather a friend told me if I looked awful or was being a bit OTT than didn't.

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  6. I worked with a gorgeous Austrian lady for a few years and we are the best of friends now but it did take me a while to get used to her "directness"

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  7. I think so many of us are worried about coming off as rude that we skirt around the issue instead of being direct.

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  8. I think honesty is the best policy. I have friends that are German and ones that are other nationalities that are also often called rude. Having observed them inaction I think in some cases it can be the way things are said rather than what is said.

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  9. I think honesty is the best policy but there is a way to be honest without being rude and it comes down to tact, not something I am good at!

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